Therapy & Counselling Resources > Assertiveness



Do you feel you are constantly doing things just to please other people? Do you feel under pressure to agree with people or to go places you don't want to go? Assertiveness is about being clear about your feelings, your needs and how they can be achieved. One aspect of assertiveness is learning to say 'no' (and also learning to say ‘yes’!). It involves having clear boundaries and standing your ground even if other people are not always happy about that. Assertiveness involves the confidence to handle conflict, negotiation skills and remaining positive and optimistic wherever possible.

Counselling, therapy and coaching may be helpful for you if you feel that past experiences have impacted on your assertiveness. A therapist, counsellor or coach can help you to practise assertiveness and understand how the situation has come about so you can modify your behaviour if necessary. Assertiveness is a way to respect and value yourself as well as other people. Assertiveness is not the same as aggression: aggression hurts people and is not respectful. Assertiveness means being able to compromise at times but also being confident enough not to take others criticism personally. When you practice assertiveness, you can be yourself and not have to change to suit other people.

This information is only general and is not a substitute for a professional consultation.

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